PDawg's 2009 Reflection Questions

I know the questions didn't come directly from HP, but she inspired me by her blog to answer them too. I am also a sucker for questionnaires and I couldn't resist! So here goes nothin'......

2009 Reflection Questions
1. What was the single best thing that happened this past year?
A lot of great things happened this year that I cannot think of a single "thing" that was the best, so I will list a few....is that ok? I got to travel to CA twice, I went to Disneyland after over 15 years of not going there, I quit my old job and got a fabulous new job, I overcame depression.....there are more than that, but I had to list a few!

2. What was the single most challenging thing that happened?
The most challenging thing was overcoming depression and jealousy from the lack of being a mother or being pregnant yet. I have learned this year to continue to walk in the path that God prepared for me and to not be envious of other people's paths because we're all different.

3. What was an unexpected joy this past year?
An unexpected joy this past year was probably going back to taking dance classes at Ballet Austin. I love teaching ballet, but not as much I love taking ballet class! Don't get me wrong....teaching ballet is probably one of my favorite things to do, but the joy of not being the teacher and returning to the ballet barre is fantastic! I remember I was taking my second class when I returned to taking that I was doing plie's and I was filled with happiness and strong emotion that I started to tear up. Dance is what I'm supposed to do, even if I'm not the "ideal" dancer, it's what I was designed to do!

4. What was an unexpected obstacle?
The most unexpected obstacle that I faced this year was when I was fired from my teaching position at Ballet New Braunfels. People may think that I hold a lot of hard feelings towards that studio and those who attend there, but that isn't the case. I have forgiven those who intended to hurt me and discourage me and I have moved on. I still refuse to stay out of the lives of those precious girls that I used to teach because they are amazing young women and young dancers and I just want to see them grow in their lives as well as their talents.

5. Pick three words to describe 2009.
Difficult, Enlightening, Healing

6. Pick three words your spouse would use to describe your 2009 (don’t ask them; guess based on how you think your spouse sees you).
Emotional, Healed, Facebook.....J/K....maybe Moving On (can I use one bigger word and a smaller word too?)

7. Pick three words your spouse would use to describe their 2009 (again, without asking).
Awkward, Slow, Learning/Growing

8. What were the best books you read this year?
"Fearless" By: Max Lucado

9. With whom were your most valuable relationships?
God, my husband, my parents, BNB special Mommies, my "kiddos".....

10. What was your biggest personal change from January to December of this past year?
My biggest personal change from Jan to December was my transformed heart. How I learned to be satisfied in where I am right now while I continue to hope for what's to come.

11. In what way(s) did you grow emotionally?
I feel that I learned to maintain my ability to keep my passion for a family alive without becoming overly obsessed about it. I feel that I used to just focus on what I didn't have yet and only see the small things, rather than look at the bigger picture. We all tend to just focus on the smaller things in life instead of seeing the blessing in where God has us right now. We always want what we don't have and I feel that this year I've learned to keep that hope for a family alive without driving myself and everyone around me crazy.

12. In what way(s) did you grow spiritually?
Well, Matt and I haven't been regularly attending church services this year. I'm not proud of that fact, but it's the truth. It has nothing to do with lack of faith or being angry with God because that is ridiculous. We haven't been able to find a good, truth-teaching, genuine people and leadership church here where we are at. Funny thing is the other night while we were laying in bed Matt brought up that subject that he'd like to find a church to belong to again. The trouble is we've been to pretty much every church in the greater San Antonio area and have even ventured up to Austin and have found nothing! This is sooooo discouraging and I feel kind of hopeless in our search right now. Anyways, now that I've explained what's going on I need ya'll to know that even though we haven't been attending church in a building, God has continued to amaze me and teach me things every day regardless of our situation. God isn't relegated to any one church or a church building for that matter. He is everywhere and with us all the time! A fabulous way that we've found to still attend church is by going online at lifechurch.tv! We can still get good teaching and sing worship songs online! I don't plan on always attending church by this means, but it's nice to know that it's out there! The fact is that God has continued to move in our life and He hasn't gone anywhere. My faith is stronger now than it was a year ago and that didn't come from sitting in a pew every Sunday morning. My faith grew because I stayed faithful to studying God's Word and prayer. He also didn't ever leave my side either....and that's the best part of all!

13. In what way(s) did you grow physically?
I started taking ballet classes again and that helps diminish stress as well as keeps me healthy! I'd like to take more classes during the week when I can. I plan on doing so starting in january!

14. In what way(s) did you grow in your relationships with others?
I think that my relationships with others could be better. This is something I'd like to improve upon in 2010.

15. What was the most enjoyable area of managing your home?
I love having a nice home and I love it when it's clean, but that doesn't happen all of the time! Cleaning the house is something that I somewhat enjoy doing, but when you have 2500 square feet to clean.......torture!!! If I had the extra money I would hire someone to tidy up for me at least once a month. My favorite thing is to decorate and organization.....when I get the chance to.

16. What was your most challenging area of home management?
Cleaning a two-story, 2500 square foot house! I long for the one-story days again! Our next house will be a one-story fo sho!

17. What was your single biggest time waster in your life this past year?
Depression......people say that Facebook is a time waster, but I don't really agree with that. The stupid things like Farmville and whatever-ville are the time wasters, but reconnecting with old friends and seeing what's going on in everyone's lives is my favorite part!

18. What was the best way you used your time this past year?
Using my photography talents.....I'd like to use that more this new year for sure!

19. What was the biggest thing you learned this past year?
See all the previously answered questions above!

20. Create a phrase or statement that describes 2009 for you.
"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for, and certain of things we do not see." Hebrews 11:1

I answered them all before the end of 2009!!!! Hope y'all have fun answering them too :-)

Be sure to leave me a comment with a link if you answer them. Happy New Year!

Reflecting on 2009

I cannot believe that 2009 has come and almost gone already! So many things have happened this year, some good and some not so good, but all in all it has been a whirlwind! Honestly, it feels like only yesterday my family was here visiting and it was 2008. I know I had hopes and dreams for what 2009 would hold for me and my loved ones, but the fact is it wasn't everything we had expected. It wasn't completely an "easy" year. For some of us it was full of trials, disappointments, heartache, etc. etc. It is so easy to reflect upon 2009 as a non-blessed year, but even in all the difficulties faced, God remained our perfect Father and blessed us regardless of the chaos!

Just a few weeks ago I was talking with my Dad about his trip to visit us here in Texas and I had asked him if he was getting excited. He didn't completely sound excited even though I knew he was, he just sounded worn out and sad. It's hard for me to hear disappointment in anyone's voice let alone my Dad's and I asked him if he was ok. He replied, "I'm just ready for 2009 to be over". I agreed with him and we continued to complain about all the crud that had occurred in the previous months. I bring up that conversation because it shows that we just merely focused on the negative events of 2009 instead of seeing all the good that had happened.

This past weekend we were fortunate enough to visit great friends, The Goldstein's, up in Dallas. We attended worship with them on Sunday and their speaker was Conner Bailes of Prestonwood Church. He challenged us to not lose sight of the blessings of 2009. He talked about how he and his family had experienced hardships with their family's health this year. He also touched on the economic struggles that our country has faced this year. Yes, this year has been hard, but don't forget how God has blessed us this year. Don't forget what God has changed in your life this year.

Conner's challenge brought joyful tears to my eyes as the Spirit reminded me of how my heart has been healed this year. I started this year off (as I have for maybe the past 2 years) in hopes that this would be the year that God would bless us with a child. Here we are, it's December 29th and I am not a mommy yet, nor am I pregnant yet. If this was last year I would have been crying bitter tears and still asking God "Why me?". This year I can say that I am not crying as I type this and I have a thankful, transformed heart that God has turned from bitter to joyful! This year I have been taught to be completely satisfied in my marriage to my wonderful husband and to be contented in being Matt's wife (also "dog-mom" to my sweet pups Sprock and Snick).

I am so fortunate to have been married for 4 years now to the most incredible, patient, loving man in the entire world! I started this year off coming out of the grip of depression over this "not being a mommy yet" thing. Everything that had to do with babies and pregnancy and my lack of the two made me cry....I'm talking full on hiccups and snot everywhere crying! My husband was there for me through all of it. A regular man would have called it quits, but God knew what I would need when he designed Matt especially for me. My husband might not be the strongest man, but he holds me better than anyone ever has! This year I received peace about our "situation" in knowing that God has taken care of it and knowing that is all I need.

I just feel so blessed to NOT HAVE KIDS RIGHT NOW!!!! It still sounds funny to me when I say that, but it's totally true! I love the life that we have and the freedom that we have as man and wife to go and do as we please. When that kid comes I don't want to say that I lose my freedom, but everything that I know now is going to change completely. So, for now, I am a very lucky girl to not have kids right at this very moment......and I will still be lucky when they do arrive!

The peace in my heart that I have received this year is the best gift I could have ever gotten. I am also lucky enough to have an amazing support of family and friends who pray for me all the time! My Mom is the best prayer warrior out there that I know and if she says that she's going to pray for you, she is going to pray for you!!! I am blessed to have the best parents in the whole world! They are a perfect example of God's faithfulness in His perfect plan for me. They didn't have an easy time starting their family either and (according to my mom) they starting trying the moment they got married. It didn't happen until 5 years after they were married for them to have my brother, Bart, and then another 5 years after that to have me! Their "trials" in trying to have a family is a perfect example to me that God is constantly at work. We cannot always see it and we don't always understand what in the heck He is doing, but that isn't our job! Our job is to hang in there because God is good and His plan is soooooo perfect and worth waiting for!

There are so many good things that happened in 2009 that are worth mentioning. I got to go several different places, many people visited us, meet terrific people, etc. etc. This year and previous years prove to me that God loves me and has a perfect plan for me while I'm here in this imperfect place. So, if you get a chance (and I'm sure you will) think about the good of 2009, don't miss out on remembering God's many blessings of this year!! As for me, I am blessed in 2009 and am looking forward to the blessings of 2010!