Reflecting on 2009

I cannot believe that 2009 has come and almost gone already! So many things have happened this year, some good and some not so good, but all in all it has been a whirlwind! Honestly, it feels like only yesterday my family was here visiting and it was 2008. I know I had hopes and dreams for what 2009 would hold for me and my loved ones, but the fact is it wasn't everything we had expected. It wasn't completely an "easy" year. For some of us it was full of trials, disappointments, heartache, etc. etc. It is so easy to reflect upon 2009 as a non-blessed year, but even in all the difficulties faced, God remained our perfect Father and blessed us regardless of the chaos!

Just a few weeks ago I was talking with my Dad about his trip to visit us here in Texas and I had asked him if he was getting excited. He didn't completely sound excited even though I knew he was, he just sounded worn out and sad. It's hard for me to hear disappointment in anyone's voice let alone my Dad's and I asked him if he was ok. He replied, "I'm just ready for 2009 to be over". I agreed with him and we continued to complain about all the crud that had occurred in the previous months. I bring up that conversation because it shows that we just merely focused on the negative events of 2009 instead of seeing all the good that had happened.

This past weekend we were fortunate enough to visit great friends, The Goldstein's, up in Dallas. We attended worship with them on Sunday and their speaker was Conner Bailes of Prestonwood Church. He challenged us to not lose sight of the blessings of 2009. He talked about how he and his family had experienced hardships with their family's health this year. He also touched on the economic struggles that our country has faced this year. Yes, this year has been hard, but don't forget how God has blessed us this year. Don't forget what God has changed in your life this year.

Conner's challenge brought joyful tears to my eyes as the Spirit reminded me of how my heart has been healed this year. I started this year off (as I have for maybe the past 2 years) in hopes that this would be the year that God would bless us with a child. Here we are, it's December 29th and I am not a mommy yet, nor am I pregnant yet. If this was last year I would have been crying bitter tears and still asking God "Why me?". This year I can say that I am not crying as I type this and I have a thankful, transformed heart that God has turned from bitter to joyful! This year I have been taught to be completely satisfied in my marriage to my wonderful husband and to be contented in being Matt's wife (also "dog-mom" to my sweet pups Sprock and Snick).

I am so fortunate to have been married for 4 years now to the most incredible, patient, loving man in the entire world! I started this year off coming out of the grip of depression over this "not being a mommy yet" thing. Everything that had to do with babies and pregnancy and my lack of the two made me cry....I'm talking full on hiccups and snot everywhere crying! My husband was there for me through all of it. A regular man would have called it quits, but God knew what I would need when he designed Matt especially for me. My husband might not be the strongest man, but he holds me better than anyone ever has! This year I received peace about our "situation" in knowing that God has taken care of it and knowing that is all I need.

I just feel so blessed to NOT HAVE KIDS RIGHT NOW!!!! It still sounds funny to me when I say that, but it's totally true! I love the life that we have and the freedom that we have as man and wife to go and do as we please. When that kid comes I don't want to say that I lose my freedom, but everything that I know now is going to change completely. So, for now, I am a very lucky girl to not have kids right at this very moment......and I will still be lucky when they do arrive!

The peace in my heart that I have received this year is the best gift I could have ever gotten. I am also lucky enough to have an amazing support of family and friends who pray for me all the time! My Mom is the best prayer warrior out there that I know and if she says that she's going to pray for you, she is going to pray for you!!! I am blessed to have the best parents in the whole world! They are a perfect example of God's faithfulness in His perfect plan for me. They didn't have an easy time starting their family either and (according to my mom) they starting trying the moment they got married. It didn't happen until 5 years after they were married for them to have my brother, Bart, and then another 5 years after that to have me! Their "trials" in trying to have a family is a perfect example to me that God is constantly at work. We cannot always see it and we don't always understand what in the heck He is doing, but that isn't our job! Our job is to hang in there because God is good and His plan is soooooo perfect and worth waiting for!

There are so many good things that happened in 2009 that are worth mentioning. I got to go several different places, many people visited us, meet terrific people, etc. etc. This year and previous years prove to me that God loves me and has a perfect plan for me while I'm here in this imperfect place. So, if you get a chance (and I'm sure you will) think about the good of 2009, don't miss out on remembering God's many blessings of this year!! As for me, I am blessed in 2009 and am looking forward to the blessings of 2010!